I'm constantly hearing from readers who complain that if they take even a bite of cake, they're afraid there going to destroy their diet. News flash: Treating yourself to some cake or even eating a piece of chocolate is not going to destroy your diet.

But that got me to thinking. How could you really screw up your weight loss program. No, it's not something you would want to do, but it you had a list -- and oh how we love our lists-- on how to truly screw it up, maybe a little reverse psychology would take place.

So with that thought in mind, here's my sure-fire 12 step plan for screwing up any weight loss program. Follow this, and you'll have a round figure in no time flat.

• 1. Drink sodas, aka liquid candy. Drink a couple of these a day and watch your love handles grow like crazy.
  
• 2. Frequent fast food spots. You'll want to change the name to "fast fat" once you see how quickly your pants size changes.
  
• 3. Treat potato chips like vegetables. Eating 5 serving of veggies will never be so easy.
  
• 4. Eat a big meal before you go to bed. Aside from nightmares, the food will go straight to your tummy.
  
• 5. Avoid drinking water. Great technique for retaining waste in your body and yes, that's exactly what I mean.
  
• 6. Stuff yourself until you can't move. Need I say more?
  
• 7. Super size every chance you get. Why settle for 8 ounces when 32 will do.
  
• 8. Avoid exercise like the plague. Can't you just feel your metabolism slowing down?
  
• 9. Eat fried foods. No only will you gain fat quickly, it is by far the best strategy for cloging your arteries.
  
• 10. Forget eating fruits and veggies. They are just taking up space from all the ice cream you could be eating.